Nada

Este post é simples. Muito directo. Names aside claro, mas do mais directo que terás.
A 9 de Dezembro... saíste da minha vida, pela porta do cavalo. Deixei outra pessoa entrar, não para te substituir, mas para tentar. Não resultou. Não por ti, porque estavas - e estás! - cada vez mais longe, fraco e faded na minha memória, na minha mente, na minha pessoa, que sabe agora que, vida, contigo? Não, obrigado!
Mas claro, a tua cegueira consentida, a tua dureza, a tua fraqueza... derrotou-me outra vez. Quando há dias me lembraste que, por amor, por paixão, fazes, farias (és incapaz, fraco!) mais.
Aconselho-te agora, peço-te: perde-te, perde-te na dor que escolhes, para não mais voltar. Porque sabes quem és, tens idade e cabeça. A época da pena já passou. Este é o meu segundo adeus...
Seja verdade ou não, seja outra tentativa falhada... sejam palavras ou sentimentos... pelo menos sei que mais, em uníssono, te desmentem. Até de madrugada, perdida em neblina e sorrisos... já quase no mundo do sono... a quilómetros me provam que, na lama? Por ti? Não mais!

Encontrei ontem, nas palavras de outros o que mereces ouvir, a raiva na voz que sinto no caração. Porque acabaste, mas a raiva ainda cá mora...

Por isso, tu que tanto sabes, tu que tudo encontras... vai, já que tens tanto jeito para "ler" mas não "ver"... -> Nada - Toranja.

E então, depois de bem sentido (porque se perceberás? não sei, e cada vez menos me interessa), continuaremos a não falar.

Waves...

... of joy, of hope, of dream, of fear, of rage, of wonder, of doubt, of smiles...

Again I state... I am AFRAID of the world. And you came and turn it all a little, just a little loader.
And I just don't care the "you" you think you are...
I had all my rage focoused towards one thought... coded it all.. but then... after the most teenager-ish subway ride of my life... all came along, throwing unslept nights off the window.

Call me infantile... but... I'd love to hear you scream... and you admit it.
I wasn't cut out for this. I do need my warranties. Less than I thought but, yet, big enough.
Wether out of caring or jelousy... you reversed the roles.
All of this just to say that I'm mad.

Yet...?

Now... Tó, meu miúdo, don't you worry 'cause you still are my James Morrison... you know I owe you this song. As I told you one day, this song sings me. My adorable little crab nature... as one says. I always saw myself in it, as someone looking for the other Half to sing it to.
Who knows?...

I look at you, you bite your tongue
You don't know why or where I'm coming from
But in my head I'm close to you
We're in the rain still searching for the sun

You think that I want to run and hide
I keep it all locked up inside but I just want you to find me

I'm not lost, i'm not lost, just undiscovered
And when we're alone we are all the same as each other

You see the look that's on my face
You might think I'm out of place
I'm not lost, no, no, just undiscovered

Well the time it takes to know someone
It all can change before you know it's gone
So close your eyes and feel the way I'm with you now
Believe there's nothing wrong

You think that I want to run and hide
I keep it all locked up inside but I just want you to find me

I'm not lost, i'm not lost, just undiscovered
And when we're alone we are all the same as each other

You see the look that's on my face
You might think I'm out of place
I'm not lost, no, no, just undiscovered

I'm not running, I'm not hiding
But if you dig a little deeper, you will find me

I'm not lost, not lost, undiscovered
And when we're alone we are all the same as each other

You see the look that's on my face
You might think I'm out of place
I'm not lost, no, no, just undiscovered.

I'm not lost, not lost, undiscovered
And when we're alone we are all the same as each other

You see the look that's on my face
You might think I'm out of place

I'm not lost now just undiscovered



(Melhor que isto?... Só tu, miúdo, chegado da Suiça, com um Swatch digital, um chocolatinho, uma camisola do SLB autografada e claro... na companhia do Jamie himself para cantarem para mim... sou tão pouco exigente!... ui ui!)

No second meanings today

I know, I know... that must be a first around here.
But yes, it is true. This post is about the song, nothing else. A song that has been in my life for almost 6 years, that means so much and, yet, I haven't been able to recognize it... till today.
This morning on the subway, when I was on my way to work, this came up on my MP3 shuffle mode... and I found myself almost dancing in the chair... almost singing it like there is no tomorrow.



Then... as usual in me... I started a list of why is that so:
- 'Cause this song is London '03;
- 'Cause you can't resist the melody, the vibe;
- 'Cause it makes me smile;
- 'Cause Chris can be cute... ;) ;
- 'Cause it just is.

I just...

... can't think, write or speak today. A part from that, I wanna hear, feel and tell you everything. (Note: the sunlight creeping in...)

You've got me so off track, off beat... that I just can't... react. Not in a bad way. No, NO... far from that! But my heart is tied down in a knot, my mind is now a house, where words and sounds and dreams run loose.
When I asked the Skies above for "someone who won't allow me to think"... I never thought it would be so fast, so perfect, so furious.
I end up... out of myself, feeling like I never did. Afraid of waking from this dream while dreaming about another life...

Since Saturday, I'm a kid again, anxious... as steady as a roller coster. All I can say with 100% sure factor here is that: I wanna believe, I wanna feel, I wanna life!

Will you help me do that? No matter what? (Or was I really being "full of myself" there?)

I'm so going crazy here... I can't even choose a music today... and that IS a sign of the Apocalispe... LOL xD

Quoting...

Two quotes dance in my mind, right now:

- There's two sides in every story... - what to do when they're both great?... one you secretly wish but can't have; while the other is just WOW! (like a piece born out of all those things you dreamt of and wish you hadn't lost) but you can't stop thinking:

[Enter second quote]

- I bet I can still spook you!... (Elisabeth Shue, Cocktail, 1988)

In the end?... I'm up and running (at least give me that credit!)... anxiously waiting for both sides to light up my day... unable to choose which path to follow, right now.
And all my fears... my questions, ever so present!...
So, I lock myself inside my cage of golden words... 'cause there I can only blame myself... and dream life away.

All about music...

Because today... I'm all about music.
These two just play in loop inside my mind... and the funny thing is that I don't know why... as I'm not really a fan of either of them...

Anyhoodle... I hope you guys enjoy.

Jack Johnson - Upside down (next time.. give me one without the "monkey business"... but on the other hand... thank god for all the water...)



Rita Redshoes - The beginning song (sooo much better than the first single... and that says it all!)


And this happens why, you ask?... 'Cause I'm made of music, I'm an endless string of songs =)

Chocolate... chocolate!

Vá... podem ver (sem tocar!)... mas só aniversáriante é que pode provar.

O bolo, claro! (sua cambada de preversos!)


Porque o teu mundo tecnológico (mais valia que funcionassemos a sinais de fumo e não tivesses ido passear), até a quilometros de distância, me parece estar a sabotar... aqui fica... todo de chocolate, para que continues doce... e todo para ti, porque hoje mereces!
Mesmo em Roma e, provavelmente, em "coma" romântico... ;)
(Eu sou o morango e as frutas silvestres, ok?...)

PARABÉNS!
***

A lot and a lot...

Today (funny how when it comes to me... everything starts with a "Today") I took yet another step. Therefore I decided that, from now on, as far as possible... I'll say everything that has to be said.

It may seem a baby step to you... but for me? It's a giant leap.

So, the following is dedicated to many:

You read my mind, I feel a lot more complete and a better person thanks to you. Wierdly, 'cause probably you guys won't feel the same, I see us as a group, a tight net of survivors, of women who know differents aspects of life. I thank you (Katie, Jb, Amanda...) for being me again, being bravier, being able to speak without feeling I'm alone;

Em português para que não tenhas que "sacar" do dicionário... e mesmo que só leias daqui por uma semana, não Fénix, não me esqueço de 6ª... Mas mais... tu acordaste o meu lado "semi solar" (porque não o tenho completo) com o qual já tinha perdido contacto. Quase me fazes gostar de chocolates e tudo, aceitar beijos roubados... ai Ladies Man... ainda tenho que descobrir o que queres de mim (ao dedicar-te um parágrafo ganhei pontos?! Passei alguma concorrente à frente?... é que não deixo de ser competitiva...) ;

Hélio, for you... I'm back to the good ol' English. What can I say that hasn't been said in our parallel universe?... Everything and nothing... but I just had to include you here. You're the response I unawarely asked for yesterday... and everything must have a sequence, right? So you're it, and you deserve beeing here... right next to my Heart, right next to the post that started all... ;) ;

O resto, homem completo, já tu vais sabendo. Como se pudesse mostrar mais ainda... que tu não tenhas visto já? Faz tuas as tuas palavras, vive, devora... mas não precisas procurar porque já encontraste. Agora, aceita, luta!... sem medos. Porque mesmo que tenha um fim, alone you'll be no more.

É de pessoa mázinha, mas gosto de te ver bailar na corda bamba... porque enquanto oscilas, posso sonhar...

Mas não receies, a mim não... porque amiga e alma, sempre. Primeiro!

Funny, this thing of speaking our mind out... feels great! =)

Calling all Friends!...

Calling all friends and people I met on the way down
Calling all friends and people I don’t even know
Calling on high I want to believe there’s a way now
I’m too tired to pretend I don’t want to be alone

I’m calling all friends

Taken my time and trying to be what I wanted
Taken my chances when they came on the way
Taken there toll and nobody knows how I’m haunted
Things that I’ve done there isn’t a price I can pay

I have been broken I’ve been low
You want to disappear and no one needs to know
I’ve been there I’ve been where no one seems to care

Calling all friends and people I met on the way down
Calling all friends and people I don’t even know
Calling on high I want to believe there’s a way now
I’m too tired to pretend I don’t want to be alone

I’m calling all friends

I have been broken I’ve been low
You want to disappear and no one needs to know
I’ve been there I’ve been where no one seems to care

Calling all friends and people I met on the way down
Calling all friends and people I don’t even know
Calling on high I want to believe there’s a way now
I’m too tired to pretend I don’t want to be alone
I’m too tired to pretend I don’t want to be alone

I’m calling all friends

Let's see who respondes...

A sound from past days, a topic of reunion, a way to show my apreciation... 'cause the importance of a hug was rekindled in me.