17 February, 2009

Long time no see, right?
Yeah, yeah... I know... aparently time flies when you're having fun. I guess I've been having a sip of that kind of life.
So... as 5 days have passed this will be another one of my incoherent posts... now, c'mon! Quoting a sometime ago famous kid: "You love me! You REALLY LOVE me!"

Thrusday while having a talk with "my (oh so beloved!) person" I realised one thing - since this week is the 3 months anniversary of this blog, the timing is perfect - these have been the busiest, more alive, confusing, loving, laughing, crying, growing and building days of my life, this far.
And, call me a wierdo or a.k.a freakshow, I owe all the good and the bad times to this little "paper" lost in ciberspace.
As she said while we were being ourselves... the pages you started writing for someone brought you close to yourself and to someone else.
Even if today hasn't been the best of days... I now have where to come and write. An archive to show me that I've survived worst days. A list of links that connect me to the world. A small little corner of the world where I found the noblest feelings.
The bad, the very bad, the will to die and to let go gave way to living. Right now?... a happy kind of doing it. In the future?... only God knows - but since I've met and felt hope... =)

New friends, new words/worlds, new hates and a new (although already "there") love...
Hence... when reading these more than 70 posts (!) I wonder: Was it me all along? And I'll answer without a doubt: "Yes!"
But a me, a me that grows. A me that, sometimes, can't recognize some words left behind, that recalls some thoughts as "too much" now; that lingers in songs, that is grateful, that is changed. A me that is "wowed" by some of those past days, that dreams of those yet to come but fears the "future".

My eyes are now wide open, my ears are alert, my hands want to feel the world... all this to say, that, thanks to these 3 months, some days I wake up in the morning and think: "Hello life! I wonder if I can dream the world away?" (and you all know that wasn't me...)

'Cause the black is not so intense anymore, but I'm still little old me.
'Cause I plan, but I'm still a kid.
'Cause I miss and I'm missed.
'Cause I've seen life and death.
'Cause I'm me and somethings never change.

6 thoughts unleashed:

Fatucha said...

When life smiles as this to ourselves it's like a treasure to keep, do not waste it! you are on your way.
Hope we chat one of these days...kisses

jb said...

izzie.... happy 3 months on this jouney to you. I hope the next 3 months or 3 years or the reat of your beautiful life bring you all that you desire.



Cresces. E a cada dia que pasa tornas-te mais tu e mais bonita. Isto tudo porque te encontras mais e mais contigo. Deixaste de lado os medos, as dúvidas, as aflições, as palavras que te prendiam ao passado. Libertaste-te dos "what if..." e seguiste em frente.
Não que eu não saiba que os medos ainda te povoam o brilho que mostras nos olhar...
Não que eu não saiba que ainda, mas só às vezes, as dúvidas ainda te procuram. Mas sabes que mais? são para se despedirem de ti, e da tua alma diamante que insiste em afastá-las, em lutar!
Olhos abertos, mãos abertas, ouvidos atentos ao que passa em redor. Coração sereno e em plenitude.

Amo-te* my person (a.k.a freakshow :))

Hélio said...

It's life on all its spendour and glory, my One!
A kiss with all the Love! :)

Castiel said...

Noutro dia tive praki a mexer nisto dos blogs e deixe de seguir prai 4 pessoas lol sem querer e kd me disseste e reparei k n tava no teu canto, fiquei WTF. Eu a pensar "ela nk mais actualiza" e kd vim ver do nada " fiquei com alta gota! Anyway, im back to stay :D

izzie said...

@Fatucha: I'm trying my best to hold on tight to my treasure. You and I know how hard it was to find it!
I too miss our chats... most of all I miss you my friend! =)

@Jb: awww honey! Thanks! It has brought me the most beautiful things, those I wish I won't lose. Like you.
May our words bring smiles along for other many many many months!

@my person: Só tu sabes tanto como eu. Reformulo, mais que eu! Por isso só consigo acenar e deixar cair uma lágrima que se confunde entre amor, gratidão e partilha. Olhos, mente, vida aberta, porque ainda temos muita batalha e caminho para vencer.
Como te adoro!...

@my One: it is life with everything we deserve, asked for and hope to do, feel or be.
It is Life... in all it's glory, REAL life.
A kiss with all my love,

@my subdita: Pelos vistos o raio do Blogger aliou-se à nossa azelhice e tá-me a sabotar. Sim, porque tu nem que não queiras estás "here to stay" _D

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