18 November, 2008

Is this what I'll be when you're not around?... Will this be the general feeling?... Why?... Why do I miss you, why did I fall for you?
I won't admit it this time, the last one was bad enough... I got it, I'm a nothing, I'm insignificant... I even feel you find me something of dissmisable.
The last times just come into my mind and the feeling loops in my head: I'm a nothing, I'm not good material, I'm not worthy. In the end I only light up the ones that I have no special feelings for...
Am I pathetic or what?... I'm a excuse of a person... what can you say about a 23 year old girl who wakes in love over morning, dreams, helps, listens, worries... but isn't capable of living and wants to kill herself at night?
No, it isn't just 'cause of a boy, not even 'cause of four boys... it isn't 'cause of a job... in the end... I'm just damaged goods.
And they only get their chance in "haply ever after stories", not in real life.
I will stop feeling this for you, I will continue to fight and to search, and to listen and to help... I will continue living my life through others, dreaming.
'Cause today, I'm here... but I don't think I will be "tomorow".

5 thoughts unleashed:

Couch Shopper said...

Hang in there izzie, I hope this is not how you really feel. Life is a gift that we are given not for ourself, but to help others and receive the same gift in return. I like your thoughts, they are very deep. Thanks for reading my blog and commenting.

Tita said...

gosto muito de ti e do teu blogue...
Mas não percebo a cena do :'ingles esta na moda...'

izzie_tisha said...

aawww... bigada!... qnto ao inglês... até pode tar na moda agora, mas cmgo já é vício há mtos anos... mas eu vou ver se me controlo ;)

Tita said...

meu amor...n sou da tuna, eu sou a tuna! lol, é a segunda tuna que crio.. mas andas na UTAD? beijinho

Tita said...

oh sôra Veterana, post lá, q ja temos saudadji!

 
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