18 March, 2009

wash away my sorrows,
Take away my pain...

As I stood under that hot shower, my mind raced and drifted, yet again.
The water, my Element, made me realise a bunch of things. I've been having the perfect afternoon for this "mental wondering" to happen; but water dripping from each and every inch of my body just propelled that.
How I hate my inerchia as it stole me my Past, a somewhat interesting and "branding" Past, that I end up I envying in you.
How I can see you feel... hurt, love, expect, wonder, want, lust... Life. While I'm just learning how to do that...
How I was... and maybe still am... kidding myself. My intentions, my reasons were and are real. But now... I look at them and understand them as they always were: empty, "not quite there".
How I need(ed) big events but small doings to somewhat change my life.
How I'm sure of what I'm feeling, doing... not because I have to or are expected to. Not because I'm thankful and have to give something back. Just "because", this is me giving myself to others... I want to do this right now... and for the first time in quite some months when I'm writting "want"... I'm really meaning it. The feeling of having a purpose, of having a riddle to crack, of learning something - me!
This coming from the girl that always felt like she knew a bit (a LOT actually!) about everything...

How this post isn't coming out the way I "felt" it while under water.

I need to merge... I miss the turquoise, green, white blue of you...

Ooooh... and this was my
1ooth post! Yeahy to me... but most of all... to all of you, that made stick around and love this "bloguerly" world I bumped in to... =D

10 thoughts unleashed:

Ianita said...

Não diria LOVE, mas... :)

Beijos e Parabéns!

(sim, a água, principalmente a ferver e com pressão sobre as têmporas, tem esse efeito renovador. Mas não podemos viver submersos pois não?)

Lita said...

A água, sobretudo a quente, leva-nos para locais inimagináveis e emoções que se operam nos locais menos visitados do nosso ser.
Grande viagem... :)

Parabéns pelo 100. Aguardamos a próxima centena! ;)

izzie said...

Ianita: Há muitos tipos e demonstrações de Amor... daí a presença da palavra ;)
Pois... e esse efeito faz maravilhas quando "inesperado"... porque transforma o momento em mais que uma rotina...
Bigada e beijinhos

Lita: Exactamente... sem tirar nem por. Uma grande viagem... daquelas boas e necessárias :)
Estranhamente também olho com um sorriso a chegada de mais um cento, ou dois ou três... e a certas pessoas os devo ;)

Fatucha said...

ah a agua, tomar banho ou duche, é uma maravilha...é como dizes limpa por dentro as nossas magoas e por fora, é refrescante...
Desde já os meus parabéns pelo 100st post! ;) e que venham mais 100... :)bjs

katieleigh said...

I don't care if this didn't come out as you invisioned it under the water. It was still really crisp and beautiful to me.

I love that you can write so fluently in English.

Sometimes right when I'm about to fall aslseep, the best ideas for writing come to mind and when trying to recreate them they are never the same. So I know how you feel.

It's funny how hot showers can evoke so much thought.

Missing you x

saveyoursoul said...

izzieeeee! My lover!

I loved this post! I love that you're like me--one thing can trigger everything (water for example).

Thank you for sharing this with me and for being so awesome!!

izzie said...

Fatucha: Mais uma coincidência para acrescentar à lista ;)
E bigada claro!

Katie: Hun, it's great to have you here!
Thanks for all the kind words... the do mean a lot to me!

Amanda: Sweetie! If told you more than one... we're bits of the same piece ;)
Thank YOU for being there and being you =)

Skywalker said...

Um duche quente sabe sempre bem. Houve tempos em que por esta altura tb gostava de apanhar um belo aguaceiro e chegar a casa encharcado por fora mas renovado por dentro.

tens mimo no meu cantinho


jb said...

Izzie this is an awesome post. I agree with both katie and amanda, it's brilliant. Katie is also right about how you can be so fluid in english. Your good Izzie, don't under estamate yourself.

Now, I want to tell you, that this post could have been an amazing poem. While I was reading it, I saw it as poem. You should rewrite it into a poem it's all there, you just need to put it together in the right form.

Take this post, put it on paper and play with it like a puzzle. There is a beautiful poem in this great piece of writing ok.....revisit this train of thought.

Love Love

izzie said...

JB: Oh sweetie you desarm me like that... absolutely...
I'm not much of a poet... and I'm so hurt right now that I don't know if I wouldn't distorce all these thoughts and ruin it...
But I'll think about it...
That being told... what I really really mean is thank you... once again you're my life saving net.


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