03 April, 2009

I do not know what any of you are thinking when you first listen to the "truth", how you react to it.
From the times I took the risk of finding out I received Love, admiration, surprise, shock... but hardly ever pity. That I feel (for) myself, on the inside.
I end up crying (fists down!), blaming the one thing I can't change. Or better said... that I'm affraid to change, 'cause we can't predict the aftermath.
Someone told me that, as we choose the life we live when we are born, I did chose this one. 'Cause I'm strong and I'll take it. Bare it, pass through it with flying colours. Some days I want to believe that... others I just can't.
As my person says... I blame it rather then blaming the weak, prejudicing ones that cross my path... 'cause I'm too good. I always chose to look at the bigger picture and find the one thing that will forgive them all.
Maybe I do... if that's my doing... I do it from the heart. I can't overlook my nature.
I do have my chore... I do have to learn. I began the path to do so... but pain took over me. The good thing is that this time I didn't let misery take over me too. And I won't. Read my words, I won't! (My "savers", remind me of that when I feel like forgetting, ok?)
As for the rest? All my lessons, all my errors and mistakes? Too much giving, too fast and too furious?
They may have turn out a bit far from what I expected... but as someelse told me, they are a page of my life, they are what needed to be done. They('ll) make me more of myself and toughen me up.

A part of me, of my heart is with every single one of you guys that know it. A little bit more of myself sunks it in when I say it outload. So... thanks for the plather of feelings I get from all of you. Each and every single one of you helps me grow - the good or the bad way.
So in the end I just want to say: Thank you... even when it hurts so much I can only cry.

4 thoughts unleashed:

Lita said...

Abraço apertado. Estamos aqui para o que der e vier. Sabes disso.

Lateral Larynx said...

The truth is a mythical being but that doesn't mean we don't recognise it when we see it. Or read it. A confession I could have written myself :)

izzie said...

Lita: :)
Eu sei isso. Mesmo! Obrigada.

Lateral Larynx: Welcome into my "world"! Glad someone else can recognize and feel the power of truth these days...
Feel free to stop by and please do let me know your corner :)

Anonymous said...

É das coisas mais difíceis de fazer...acreditar...

Mesmo quando não acreditamos, paradoxalmente devemos continuar a fazê-lo, porque se o deixarmos morrer nada mais fará sentido, pois em tudo o que fazemos ha uma mistura de fé e de esperança...sem esta motivação a alma fica desprovida de vida...

Se tiveres de chorar chora, se tiveres que sorrir sorri...E o mais importante: estás viva, por isso vive! :)

Um beijo apertado*

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